A true teaching confession...

Sometimes I do the unthinkable.....take an idea from the Internet to create fun assignments. Word to the wise (my fellow schoolmarms and masters will understand), proofread that Internet crap carefully. I almost handed out a year 8 sheet with creative writing prompts including 'Write about your first romantic (dare I say, sexual) experience'. Hell to the no!

So funny and so, so sad!

Okay, so I'm teaching the kids about hyperbole, and used as an example Auden's 'As I Walked Out One Evening.'
We looked at the line 'I'll love you until the ocean is folded and hung out to dry' etc, and then asked them to write their own examples of hyperbole to describe everlasting love.

Here is a brilliant example from a girl in my class:

"I'll love you until my dad pays child support,
Or until I get more credit for my phone."

Utterly brilliant.

Literal interpretations

'Miss! I thought you said we can't talk because it's exam conditions!'

'Yes.....'

'The question says to "Identify and discuss the effect of SWAT codes...." Who am I supposed to do that with?'

Leaving Africa

Student - Where are we supposed to sit?

Teacher - You could sit on the floor?

Student - I'm not sitting on the floor! I left Africa so I can sit in a chair!

A little truth for the masses

A gift

Excuses, excuses

Australian welfare

"Australian culture has many welfare benefits, such as the cattle industry."

Coffee is essential

"How many coffees have you had today,Miss?"

"One."

"Oh God! That's not a good sign!"

Spelling is a must

"Studding the context of the tree images contributes to the marginalisation of drug addicts in Australian society."

Grammar fail

"I want to dilate the river."

Guest post from Thomas the Rhymer

"I can't English" - exam response

A confession from a former student

It really does, all my teachers were right... It pains me to say it, but you were haha

We had it easy and simple at school, the most we had to complain about was homework... That's it! Haha bring back those days...

The scariest thing about sharks

"And most people wouldn't want to be molested by sharks now, would they?"

Insanity or genius?

“In my ten years of teaching I’ve noticed that teachers tend to have a bad habit of talking to themselves. I hypothesize that this is because we talk for a living, and we feel safe speaking our feelings aloud. Or it could be that most of us, especially the high school teacher variety, are just weird as shit.”
― P.C. Cast, Divine By Mistake

Project confessions

One-liners from the school yard. They make the teachers laugh so I thought I might share them. Please feel free to comment and leave some of your own favourites.