The give-a-shit-o-meter is broken

I'm feeling a little ranty today - humour me!

I told my colleague once that I thought I was pretty good at parenting my teen because I got some handy experience trying things out while teaching somebody else's teen. You know, so I can make my mistakes with them and then perfect the methods for dealing with my own kid? The flip side is that I also feel like I teach other people's teens well because I have to parent a kid of the same age. I can relate to their teenage madness because I witness a lot of it in my own home. Sadly, I have far more patience dealing with my students' freak outs and dumb-arse decisions than I do with my son's........yeah maybe 'perfect' doesn't quite fit the scenario.....

My point is, I care. I experience a measure of success because I walk these two lines - parent and teacher. My bigger point is (yes, I'm giving the punch line away early in this blog!), that if more parents approached their role as mum or dad with the same tenacity and passion they exhibit in their working lives, I would not need to. I would spend more time teaching and less time parenting. More time guiding kids towards their career paths and future goals then setting boundaries to encourage appropriate behaviour. It's tiring, man! It's tiring being switched on and parenting my son and daughter whom I love. Don't get me wrong, I like all kids, but I am only really invested in 2 of them......my own.

So, my give-a-shit-o-meter is slowly wearing down. I want, really really want, to do my best by my students. But what's the point? I sorta feel like that's not going to happen when I'm so distracted fulfilling the parenting role that their own parents aren't stepping up to. (Disclaimer - most parents are wonderful. I am commenting on a handful that are draining the life out of me!) I have become a glorified, underpaid, and unappreciated nanny to other people's children.

Here's a few non-teaching expectations that parents have asked me to fulfil this week -

1. My child is truanting. You need to go and find out exactly where they are! (really? I should drop what I'm doing, get in my car, and drive around a city looking for your kid?)

2. My child has anxiety. Why isn't the school doing anything about it? (Possibly because we're teachers not psychologists)

3. I don't want my child suspended because then they will bother me all day. (We've been bothered enough. And so has the kid that your kid belted repeatedly at lunch time.)

4. My child did deliberately break a window with their own hands but it's not their fault. (So it's yours?)

Is there any point to me doing my job if the parents won't do theirs?

When these kids leave our school how will they ever navigate their way through a world that holds them responsible for their own actions?

Rant done.

My Two Brains

I am lucky enough to possess my teenage brain. It sits alongside my grown-up brain and allows me to understand lots of things that the one brained population can't remember any more. For example, I remember how the world ends when you break up with your boyfriend. I can remember the tedium of having to listen to speeches about how important education is and how it's going to affect the rest of your life. I know that the worse your language is when you're pissed off, the more angry you really are, and you aim to hurt the other person badly for hurting you first.

My grown up brain does different things. Like, I know that if my boss is being a tool, it's better to smile and nod.....and go home and rant to my bestie. I also know that a year isn't so long to wait for something I really want. My grown up brain also takes control of my ability to get out of bed at ridiculous o'clock and to put my kids needs before my own. It's a pretty spectacular organ all said.

I endeavour to keep my two brains operating on separate levels. One is for understanding my clientele (teenagers) and the other is for acting appropriately. Not everyone gets two brains. Some remain with a single teenage brain they're whole life - the type that thinks the world owes them a living and  doesn't consider the risks before acting. Some just get the evolved adult version and never learn to relate to their kids.

I do have the occasional blip......like the time I a set a small fire in the living room involving alcohol and a wedding dress (definite teenage brain moment - the long version of the story is in Bride Everlasting; third time lucky?) ........and then there's the odd work moment where my teenage brain has to go into bat with the teenage brain of my students.

"Miss, my brother said you even swore at him you were so mad!" - whoops! Yeah, that was me. But it  made an impression if he's still talking about it.

Teenage brain vs teenage brain FTW.

Sorry, boss. I'll try not to let it happen again.